Dialogue at the Dentist

I went in for a dental visit the other day, a scheduled filling for my lower cavity & I was supposed to go back for the upper, since he didnt want to do both at the same time and leave me paralyzed in the face and mouth, thanks doc, much appreciated. I have always had good teeth so the occasional cavity is like so horrible to think about.

"Doc", I say, "I hate hate hate the Novocaine, and the last time it hurt so much. It left me half paralyzed I looked and felt scary, my husband couldnt look at me when I laughed".

"Well...he says, we can try the gas..."

"YES! Do it!"

"Well you will still feel the sensation..."

"TRY it!" I demand.

As he begins to explain how I will feel altered, I interrupt him to tell him i have done recreational drugs so I am ready...

and the nose peace goes on...ahhhh,

"concentrate on your breathhhhhhhh"

"Um, I dont think its working" (waw waw waw waw i begin to hear in my head...for those of you who have done nitrous balloons before:)

"So, how are your kids doing?" he asks

"PAAAH!!!" I start cracking up!

"Well, it must be working... Marylin, maybe we should turn it down..."

"NO, PLEASE!" ( I beg)" this is the highlight of my day, crank it up! It even makes the drill sound funny..."

"Ok, concentrate on your breathing, in thru the nose..."

"Doc, this isnt Lamaze" says the hygienist...

"Right," he mutters, "and here wont dont say the "P" word..."

Time out I signal - "do you mean pussy, or pain?"

LOL LOL - "Oh no, we say pussy here! Just not pain! and where did you get that from?"

Hygienist says- "well we did mention Lamaze!"

"Oh yea..." so he proceeds to drill and fill etc - and I suck in thru my nose as hard as I can to get as much gas as I can while I have it hooked up right to my NOSE! Could life be any better at this moment?

"Ok, am just about done here..."

"WAIT! Doc, can you PLEASE just fill the top one to while I am here-" (I beg)

"well....um.. ok he agrees after looking at my chart and almost not doing it..

(ANYTHING to keep the high going, what a nitrous crackhead!!)

So he prepares me for the top drilling giving me a chance to suck in a lil more gas!

OMG I am in heaven now...

I keep my eyes closed, lay there, and continue to float in nitrous heaven. Hells, I think I am gonna start eating now and laters before bed and not brushing my teeth just to get back in there!!!

Word to the wise, NEVER get Novocaine, but if you must then INSIST on the GAS!! You will LOVE going to the dentist! Trust me! You will LOVE it:)