sometimes you gotta say "fuck it"

so as it turns out, I had to cancel my trip to see krishna. Bummer. Maybe my kids will feel a little better and I can take off tomorrow. But for now I had to say "fuck it" and stay put for my kids sake. Had to ditch the selfish me and say "I'm here for ya baby" and by that I mean - how the hell can I consciously leave to drive over 3 hours away knowing that both my kids have fever, runny nose and horrible dry cough? So for now, I will suck it up and enjoy the beautiful weather. At least I will go for walks here and hit the gym and work on feeling good myself. I just ask that these little tykes kick this thing rapido so momma can get away for a little and unwind!
UPDATE:
so i go about my day, kids take tylenol, mortin, whatev, parents come over (unannounced) but they gave me the heads up in the am just failed to fucking call before walking in! anywho, kids are laughing, playing outside- coughing but dealin.   Then parents take him for a walk and she goes in for nap, got my live in so my bases are covered. So i go out for a walk with a friend, but a very LONG stay out of the house walk.  Afterall, I was in my head supossed to be away. And POW, the shit blows right up in my face.  We walk to a shopping center far from home (mind you after my mom texts me that son is coughing more "frequently" and gagged and puked (which i have seen before from the crazy cough he pukes phlem) but this time it was food. So now I am getting fuckin play by play texts from nuerotic mom.   She makes me fucking crazy. All drama. And YES, it was my business to be HOME with my sick kids! Which I was for a BIG part of the day. But fuck her for always laying on such guilt. No one told her to stay at my house for so long.  She is just a permanant buzz kill no matter how you look at it! She makes me so angry and often I want to punch her in the face, as does my husband. (and probably everyone that knows her) gosh I feel so bad writing this but its SOOOO TRUE! finally  my friends husband comes pick us up and lemme tell you, i was freaking scared of facing my mom and getting reemed like a fucking teenager (yea, i prob deserve it) but I will be damned if I get that shit in my own house!) thank goodness i saw them driving past me on my way home and avoided the confrontation!

bringing nothing to the table..

its late. my kids are asleep thank god. they both have coughs, BAD. I might have to cancel my trip to kripalu Mass to hear krishna das. I am suppossed to leave in the morning. hubs is away til sunday. I am tired. got nothing to say but PLEASE GOD LET THESE KIDS SLEEP THRU THE NIGHT! amen. ya wanna laugh, watch !yoga ogden

I munch, therefore I am!

Have you ever wanted to blog so badly only to find that your Internet was down? Ugh, well that was me last night. I had pure stream of consciousness flowing thru my mind and no where to put it down. Well of course I could have taken out my journal and scribbled away... but instead I spent 2o minutes or so picking at my toenails with the clippers and the big gigantic scary tool from sephora meant for hang nails- but I use it as my cuticle cutter! anyhow, instead of a beautiful entry, I ended up with mutilated toes, and so close to spring and open toe shoes, stop the madness at once!!! On another note, I have this saying lately -"I munch therefore I am" - but what does that mean? Well I have concluded this: I love to eat!! No matter what I do, I still love to eat... and worst of all I love to eat late night. And I munch munch munch! Last night, after a st. patties day celebration I had 2 slices of cinnamon swirl bread, some peanut butter off my pinkie and a bowl of puffins with almond milk. I wasn't even hungry!! So I decided to embrace my love for food and stop obsessing over my eating and just EAT!! (by the way, did you see the lady online who has a website where people watch her eat. She is 600 lbs and her goal is to reach 1,000lbs! They like to "watch her eat and move and see how her fat jiggles", so she says! Sexy, huh?) One more thing: my son is hugging my leg which is dangling off my bed right now and he is kissing my toes; the mutilated ones!! Last but not least, i crawled into my snugly bed last night only to discover pen marks all over my white pillow shams and sheets, and a bed filled with crumbs from animal crackers and cheerios... k, gota run my leg is being pulled off my body!

entry 33- macarooni looney

last time it was hamataschens now on to macaroons, and boy do I love macaroons! I was at my local market yesterday and saw they had a special counter set up for passover goods! I dove right in to the macaroons, trying all types. Chocolate covered, almond, choc chip, plain choc, coconut, you name it. I ate it. AND tonight i just carb loaded. Had a PB & J for dinner. Am pretty tired and gonna turn in. Went out last night partying a little and had the usual early friday- school drop off then class for my girlie. Made it to the gym but only did 4.75 miles, not making my goal of 5. However I did take a walk with a friend so maybe that added on to my mileage. OH yea and ended up going back one more time to salon this time to get low lights and toner and am looking much less blonde.