Nightwalker/nightbinger

so you already know all about my obsession with food-(its degree varies from time to time) but lately its been peanut butter. I finally finished the last jar in the house. this time it was from Trader Joe's - the Valencia peanuts with roasted flax seeds. So at least I got my fiber and ALA and Omegas right? But how much do you think I got in that last 1/2CUP or more that I ate tonight (which might I add I mixed in creamed honey from Trader Joe's.) I am starting to see a theme here. So either fuck you trader joe, you god damn trader! or thank heavens for Joe the best trader out there!! Hello, time for self control woman. Its one thing to dabble here and there, but another thing to partake on a daily basis. And I so proudly weighed in at 123.8 today. When I first began my Isagenix escapade I was 135 and 5'4 & 1/2 ( i never leave off that half cause you never know when you'll need it) and I managed to finally get down to 123.8 - but ideal would be 118 with a few pound variance of 3-4 lbs. Breaking the 120 will be phenomenal. Can I do it before sunday is my big concern. I am leaving sun morning for a 2 week vacation. I have already been preparing myself mentally for the angst of spending 2 full weeks with my parents (although I will now take this moment to express my gratitude for them and negate the previous statement). They are terrific parents and exceptional grandparents. So with the bad comes good, and vice versa. Mom is high strung anxious and completely fucking crazy at times. Her glass always seems to be half empty, or completely empty, yet she has a terrific life. Dad is a good guy. They are both good people. But as a unit they can be pretty fucking annoying with lack of social etiquette. Moving along... we will be in the tropics, and its my home away from home. One lovely island. I will take this opportunity to appreciate my wonderful life- my awesome husband and super cool and hilarious kids, and all my great loving family and friends. I am very happy and very lucky to have wonderful people in my life. On that note, let me tell you about my second adventurous night walk...takes place on a peninsula. we begin walking (about 7 of us) down a winding dark road which ends at a beach. we chill on the dock and smoke some weed. we take in the beauty of the night, the calm after the storm we had all day. We proceed to walk off the dock taking a moment to forgive someone upon leaving (its usually me I forgive for being so terrible to people at times, and yes, of course I forgive mom for being the way she is). We continue the walk up the beach and we climb the big rock where we all sit. Another toke spot. We watch the lights flicker across the way and are mesmerized by the glow in the sky and the reflection of the lights and the bright moon on the mirror water. The hike continues thru the golf course over hills thru carved out wide trails edged with trees. Moments like these make me stop and say AHHHH! Life is still fun if you make it fun, doesnt matter what age you are!! The night ends by midnight and i get home by 1am... and I bypass the kitchen! Yipee!
Today I made up for the peanut butter from yesterday by running 3 miles and 1 more on the elliptical. But game is ON tomorrow. I got an interview for a gig at ten, laser hair removal at 1 and shrink at 3. Some where in between I gotta get all packed and run my ass off at the gym, until this peanut butter and then some is gone. I leave you with that. I gotta go check on my hubs whos been puking from some bug! all be well

I have been switching between reading the books Detox for women & getting more ING out of life- 2 different books yet I feel a link between the 2. One talks about eating clean and getting the toxins out- eating organic and combining foods properly. No flesh and starch together, eat raw salads first, eat fruit alone, etc. and she is big on veggie juicing...I COULD really benefit from this way of eating. I actually LIKE eating this way and feel great when I do, except one thing: I am too infatuated with food. I SEE peanut butter and I need to eat it. So I weighed in this morning at 124.2 and I was psyched about that!! I served my friends and family bagel brunch and had my veggie juice and some tuna on slices on cucumbers and tomatoes. But I blew it at the birthday party I went to later on when I had pizza and cake. and the cake was so damn good and fudgy. Not regrets except a few!!! the fact that i have less than 2 weeks til i gotta wear a bikini for family vaca!! and I have been exercising like a gym rat. so I have been scaling back literally, physically, and with my food. I also turned down a night out and opted to stay in to read and relax, though i never got around to reading. Point is I was feeling in a "good place" and didnt have the urge or "need" that I sometimes have to go out or party.

Happy new year, a little late!!

like everything that I have let dwindle or ignored in my life this blog has unfortunately become part of that group. So, as I check in to wish you a happy new year (on jan 10th)- a little late but not too late, I am picking up where I left off but feeling a lot more inspired. I actually had a strange experience the other night at a krishna das concert: I cried! Go figure! so I guess I had some emotional release of some sort and I am going to look into this further. Anyhow it got me inspired and as I begin to pursue a path I ask "what IS my path, universe!!" When I figure this out I will let you know. But for now I will tell you this: I am stuck at a weight and I MUST release it. I have a 3 week count down til I am in a bathing suit! Even though last year this time I was heavier I want to feel real slim and sexy as I prance down the beach- ha, I just had am image of "prancing" and it was a horse trotting, no, galloping down the beach. ok, lemme make it a little better, me in a bikini side step skipping down the beach. thats my vision of prancing! and a happy new year to you!