Wow- long time no Blog

I see its been way to long since I last wrote. Talk about loss for motivation, desire, etc. I couldnt even remember the blog address and email log in. Ok, so I've made it back! And back I am! now for a check in: today I weighed 121.8 and its a friday. Usually I avoid the monday weigh in cause the drinks and food and chinese over the weekend kills me! However, totally off topic I've been thinking. Thinking way to much probably. Some things I cant even put into writing. However, throughout my life I have had many male friends. I was often "one of the guys" and would hang out with them, and it was totally cool and comfortable. I guess what I failed to notice the whole time was that I was NOT one of the guys. I was one of the "guys" that the guys wanted to sleep with. So all along it was really just about attraction and sex, or hope/desire etc. Because as I get older (and prettier, and sexier and more confident) I realize that when I go out men and boys are checking me out, hitting on me, and boy have a come across since interesting attempts. That being said, I am married, and I make sure to tell them that. Really when I go out I am just looking to hang with my girlfriends, drink, laugh, catch up and listen to music. But the more I am out there I realize life is one big meat market. Last night especially- I went to a local place with a friend of mine. We just wanted to chill and have a drink and hang. But the place was such a guido meat market, I was afraid to look in any direction fearing that I might accidentally make eye contact with someone. And it didnt help that they were old guidos! Most of the women there could have been working girls for all I know! Its amazing to see how people work - and its also wonderful to come home to a safe place with love and security. Ladies and girls, never think your one of the guys, b/c you are not! one of those guys wants to fuck you, no matter what you say!