sometimes you gotta say "fuck it"

so as it turns out, I had to cancel my trip to see krishna. Bummer. Maybe my kids will feel a little better and I can take off tomorrow. But for now I had to say "fuck it" and stay put for my kids sake. Had to ditch the selfish me and say "I'm here for ya baby" and by that I mean - how the hell can I consciously leave to drive over 3 hours away knowing that both my kids have fever, runny nose and horrible dry cough? So for now, I will suck it up and enjoy the beautiful weather. At least I will go for walks here and hit the gym and work on feeling good myself. I just ask that these little tykes kick this thing rapido so momma can get away for a little and unwind!
UPDATE:
so i go about my day, kids take tylenol, mortin, whatev, parents come over (unannounced) but they gave me the heads up in the am just failed to fucking call before walking in! anywho, kids are laughing, playing outside- coughing but dealin.   Then parents take him for a walk and she goes in for nap, got my live in so my bases are covered. So i go out for a walk with a friend, but a very LONG stay out of the house walk.  Afterall, I was in my head supossed to be away. And POW, the shit blows right up in my face.  We walk to a shopping center far from home (mind you after my mom texts me that son is coughing more "frequently" and gagged and puked (which i have seen before from the crazy cough he pukes phlem) but this time it was food. So now I am getting fuckin play by play texts from nuerotic mom.   She makes me fucking crazy. All drama. And YES, it was my business to be HOME with my sick kids! Which I was for a BIG part of the day. But fuck her for always laying on such guilt. No one told her to stay at my house for so long.  She is just a permanant buzz kill no matter how you look at it! She makes me so angry and often I want to punch her in the face, as does my husband. (and probably everyone that knows her) gosh I feel so bad writing this but its SOOOO TRUE! finally  my friends husband comes pick us up and lemme tell you, i was freaking scared of facing my mom and getting reemed like a fucking teenager (yea, i prob deserve it) but I will be damned if I get that shit in my own house!) thank goodness i saw them driving past me on my way home and avoided the confrontation!